; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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