he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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