I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
