I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
