is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
