I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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