i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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