Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
whose parrot is this?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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