I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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