Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
