I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Fuck appropriateness.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
