No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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