no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
