Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
