eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
