you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
