I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
