My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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