I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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