...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
