I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
