my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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