never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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