Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
