Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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