now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
