well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this beer tastes like vomit already
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize