im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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