I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
