his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
