can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
