East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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