these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
