Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We are all done wearing pants today
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
