It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
