thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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