i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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