If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I understand Curling. That high.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
