Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
