And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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