I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
