ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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