I must be too annoying 4 u.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
