maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
