franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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