I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
