you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize