i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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