I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
