You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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