1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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