I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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