How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
