He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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