I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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