I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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