i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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