i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
