You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
