Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
