Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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