I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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